Losing Love

Essence – the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing, this describes the love I once experienced.

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As I sit and write my truth about love it reminds me of the song “Love Ballad” by L.T.D. For those of you under the age of 40, you probably will ask who is that, well this was a group that knew how to write really good love songs.

To say that I actually had the opportunity to experience true love excites and saddens my heart at the same time. To give a little insight into my life – When I was in my early 20s, and fresh out of college, I met a guy who came off the third story of a building floor just to introduce himself to me. He said he leaned over the balcony and saw me and he felt like cupid hit him. All he knew was he had to meet me. Well of course, I took it as a corny, but cute, pick-up line, told him my name and never thought much more about him after that. The point I did not mention was come to find out, we worked in the same building for two different companies. For months we would run into one another and he would very politely make conversation with me and I humored him with polite answers.

When he asked me out, I was totally against it because he was much older than me. Come to find out years later he said that was made him want to pursue me even more. So fast forward a few years I was moving from Virginia to Texas, my car would not start in the garage of the building and guess who came to offer me a ride, yes Mr. Cupid. So I allowed him to give me and my boxes a ride home, and again he was very polite and promised to keep in contact with me while I was there. A year passed and I moved back to Virginia and guess who offered to pick me up from the Airport – yes the same guy who kept in contact with me while I was in Texas working. So when I moved back to Virginia we remained friends – I went on with life, met another guy – got married had 4 beautiful babies. But not once during that marriage I actually felt married -(more on that at another time). After 11 years the marriage ended. One evening while shopping with one of my girlfriends, guess who comes around the corner – yes Mr. Cupid.

After years of not seeing him or communicating with him – he still asked me out and this time I said YES. I have to say it has been my best relationship EVER. We talked everyday, he  treated the kids as his own and although we came close to getting married it never happened. This man was truly my best friend, we shopped, laughed uncontrollably, talked about everything together, and we never argued. He told me he never wanted to go to bed upset with me and he never did. Every night he would kiss me good night. Every morning he said good morning before anything. We prayed together, attended church together, we even hung out at the amusement parks together. We would get there and I swear the little kid in both of us would kick in. It got to the point with us, we were finishing each other sentences.

Once he told me no one will ever love me the way he does and although at the time I believed him because at this point in our lives I had no intentions of ever leaving him and I thought he would not leave me the way he did so soon. Today I believe that more than ever. But like the saying goes all good things must come to an end and on January 25,2010 – Mr. Cupid was called to Heaven. The worst day of my life. So after over 20 years of knowing each other I am happy to write this story of My True Love Experience . You never know when or where love will come from but for once in my life I can say proudly I actually experience what true love feels like.

This is dedicated to Lonnie Belcher (Mr. Cupid) – Not a day goes by that I do not think about you and the difference you made in my life. The love we shared was so special and it was much more than people could see from the outside.

Cheers to Love,

Cassandra

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